Saturday, February 28, 2009
Goodnight, Paul Harvey...
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Hope you enjoy...
The very first ever Blonde GUY joke!
An Irishman, a Mexican, and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.
They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, 'Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building.'
The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, 'Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too.'
The blonde opened his lunch and said, 'Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too.'
The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.
The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.
The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.
At the joint funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, 'If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!'
The Mexican's wife also wept and said, 'I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much.'
Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said,
'Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch.'
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
I am a "purse girl". I always carry a purse wherever I go. The bigger, the better. I have important things in there. Sometimes there's a little cash, sometimes. But then there's the lipstick and the nail file. Gum. Hand lotion. Keys. Spare keys. Pens and pins....safety pins, bobby pins. Quarters, dimes, and nickles that fall to the bottom of the purse (it adds up over time, you know!).
Just last week, I was in the waiting room at the doctor's office when a little pre-school age boy named Seth was driving me crazy running all over that waiting room. Loud. Oh my goodness was he loud! A light bulb flashed in my brain when I remembered my purse. I reached in and pulled out a secret weapon...a Hotwheels Camaro. Hey Seth...look at this. Seth took the car and retreated from my nerves for a little while.
Don't ask me why I had a Hotwheels in my purse. I just did. I'm glad I did, though. My purse is pretty valuable to me.
I remember a time when someone tried to steal my purse. I was in the library at college. I rode up the elevator with two gentlemen. No big deal. I walked to one of the little study-cubicles-built-for-one and left my books and my purse. I walked away just a short distance to a shelf where I needed to get a book. One of the elevator-guys came up to me and asked for help locating a book. For a second, I fell for it. They're trying to steal my purse I thought to myself. I pointed him in the right direction and dashed back to the cubicle, found his partner-in-crime reaching out, palm down, fingers fully splayed, with his hand only inches from my purse. Hey! What are you doing? That's mine!
"Oh, I'm sorry," he said as he walked away quickly.
I stood there stunned for a minute. Then I got mad. I went looking for the dudes... like my big, bad self was going to do something about it. Never found them. Shocker, shocker, right?
It was rather stupid of me to just leave my purse right there unattended, I know, but that was my purse, my life. Someone tried to steal it! The nerve! How rude!
That reminds me....
There really is an Enemy out there whose goal is to kill, steal, and destroy my life. Your life. Your children's lives. He desires to destroy any treasures that we store up here on earth and as well as prevent any efforts we might make to store up treasures in Heaven.
How does he do it? Like I know..., but I have a sneaky suspicion that he's sneaky about it. I suspect that he might distract me at the bookshelf with one thief while another thief snatches my purse, i.e., my life.
Let's all cherish the blessings of our lives, protect them, and not neglect them. Let's all be wise to those things that distract us, the things that destroy our lives, and the things that can destroy our families. Let's fight hard against the things that lead us away from Christ and the things that bring dishonor to the very name of Jesus.
Beware of the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, for these things will bring us down every time. Greed. Selfishness. Gossip. Unforgiveness. Bitterness. Addiction. Impatience. Apathy.
I don't know about you, but my
Thursday, February 19, 2009
- Do not put your hope in a piece of legislation
- Live within your means
- Teach your children the meaning of a strong work ethic
- Utilize government entitlement programs only when necessary, for the shortest period of time necessary rather than generationally
- Families, take care of your family members
- Stop with the frivolous lawsuits
- Humble yourself
- Seek Christ
...maybe easier said than done...
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
That's how it was from the time we met. My friend Jennifer and me, that is. We both used to work at Jackson County Nursing Home, and we just clicked from day one. During my first week at work, we went to lunch at yummy Kim San (Chinese, yum), and I remember clearly responding to something she said with "Holy Crap, Marie!" Well, she just laughed and laughed at my reference to Frank and Marie Barone from Everybody Loves Raymond. From that day forward, she has been the nosey "Marie" and I have been the crabby "Frank".
We've both moved on from JCNH, but we very much stay in touch. She's busy with hubby, kids, and working as an occupational therapist, but she's never too busy to shoot a random 'sup Frank? text message my way! I will usually respond with something like bout to pull my hair out Marie!
Marie is a cancer survivor. In fact, she celebrated her 5 year cancer-free milestone last June. She was so supportive and encouraging of me when I had my little bout with cancer, and I am so, so thankful to have had my Marie!
It appears that the ugly c _ _ _ _ _ has reared its ugly head in her life again recently. We are both mad as fire (Imagine the southern slang "far," please, rather than "fire" if you want to get the full effect of exactly how angry we are!). I just want to punch somebody and scream #%*!!^$@#!!!!! But the good thing is, I know my Marie is a strong woman with strong faith, she has a very supportive family, and a fantastic life. She's beaten worse than this before!
I feel strongly in my heart that Marie is going to be just fine. I just know.
On a lighter note... I had lunch with my Marie today. As a toast to a good lunch with a good friend, I think we should all enjoy a little Frank & Marie Barone...listen for Frank's signature line!!!
Monday, February 16, 2009
Erica turned 20 on Saturday! Like the go-getter that she is, she worked her shift at Ole Tymer's Blues and Barbeque. After work, good friends from church, Kim and Garry, came over for birthday burgers and cupcakes. Garry brought his rockin' karaoke rig...complete with more songs than you can imagine, huge-I-don't-know-how-many-amplifiers, and 4 wireless microphones. Way to go, Garry! Arabian and Erica had a blast! What a fun birthday party!
Sunday, February 15, 2009
The play was full of lively characters, witty one-liners, and..get this...humorous "sight gag" (Stephanie taught me that theatrical term!). Ultimately, however, if you so chose to look for a deeper theme in the play, the question was examined of whether or not happiness and contentment in life is a choice.
Happiness is peripheral, contentment is central.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
I just had one of those moments where I wanted to hang my head in shame.
When I'm down in the dumps, in order to soothe my selfish-self, I say to myself somewhere in the world today, someone lost their job, OR somewhere in the world today, someone lost a child, OR somewhere in the world someone was given a terminal diagnosis today, OR somewhere in the world today, someone....
Today, I was reminded that somewhere, no actually it's MANY PLACES in the world, people are being tortured for the sake of Jesus Christ.
There are bigger things in life than diets and exercise. There are bigger things in life than Democrats vs. Republicans. There are more important issues than the cover of Vogue Magazine.
God bless you, little Chinese lady. May you sleep well tonight.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
Why, oh why, did I even click on this little test to begin with?
I was invited to take the Which Andy Griffith Show Character Are You quiz on Facebook. Mindlessly, I clicked on the quiz and answered the questions.
Which character on The Andy Griffith Show do I most resemble???
You guessed it...
...oh good grief...
Why can't I be Helen?
Maybe there's a reason Brother's kid's call me "The".
Friday, February 6, 2009
- Heart disease is the No. 1 killer of women and stroke is the No. 3 killer of women. Heart attack, stroke and other cardiovascular diseases kill more women than the next five causes of death combined
- Since 1979, the death rate for heart disease in men has declined by more than 17 percent, but the death rate for women has declined by only 2.5 percent over this same period
- More than 90 percent of primary care physicians don’t know that heart disease kills more women each year than men.
- Women are less likely than men to receive certain diagnostic testing and treatments, such as angioplasties and stents, for cardiovascular diseases.
- Drug and medical device effectiveness may differ in women and men, yet doctors and researchers often don’t know how safe and effective a particular medicine or device is for women.
You can help. Read more about the HEART for Women Act (Heart Disease Education, Analysis and Research, and Treatment Act) which has already been passed in the US House of Representatives and will be presented in the Senate this month. You can send a letter to your congressman directly from HERE. Just fill out your information in the section on the right side of the page, and the American Heart Association will send the letter for you! It's that easy!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
She went and made me mad today, so I must vent.
It's the day before my birthday...the big THREE-FIVE, and I was weepy about it.
It will be your turn soon enough, Alice.
I then told my boss to shut up.
She did not write me up. Thank heavens she has a sense of humor.
To celebrate, I will write 35 reasons I'm thankful in my 35th year...
1. I will be 3 years cancer-free! Yipee!
2. I have almost no gray hairs....thanks to my good and beautician friend Quetta
3. My car is paid-for!
4. I have a job I love....most days.
5. All my senses are fully functioning...sight, taste, touch, smell, hearing.
6. I can read and write.
7. Music. I'm so thankful for music.
8. I have cute dogs.
9. I have cute nieces and nephews.
10. I have a lot of cute shoes and purses.
11. Hey, I'm cute.
12. I had 32 years with a Mom who loved me.
13. I've still got a dad who loves me.
14. Big Brother. He takes care of me.
15. I have a good memory.
16. I have a fantastic church.
17. My mattress is sooooo comfortable.
18. Our pantry is full.
19. Our deep-freeze is full.
20. I think my acne-days are over.
21. I have good teeth. There's nothing like a problem-grill!
22. People actually read my blog.
23. I'm a GRIT (aka Girl Raised In the South)...the best place on earth.
24. I will run (or at least run/walk) the Turkey Trot in November....everybody keep your fingers crossed on that one!
25. I have a personal Mouse Wrestler...everyone should review that post just for fun!
26. I have a great pair of running/walking shoes.
27. Chocolate. Enough said.
31. Spiritual blessings
32. Eternal Security
33. The WAY
34. The TRUTH
35. The LIFE
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
The reception was held at Macedonia Baptist Church in Crossville. There were about 100 friends and family in attendance. What a great party!