It's hard for me to ask for something for myself. I don't know why really. It's difficult for me to find the balance between a healthy work ethic and not-so-healthy self-reliance.
Working in a new job is teaching me about "making do" on much less income, both in my personal finances and in managing the house account here at TWH. I used to have a comfortable income so that when there was something I really wanted or felt that I needed, I just bought it. Things have changed as far as my personal spending goes. Even in managing the house account for TWH, I must plan menus down almost to the penny in order to truly be the steward of the finances given generously to this ministry. And all of that is good. In fact, I don't think I could be any more content in my life as I am this moment.
I've been walking everyday and I started wearing my old MP3 player. It's a little generic MP3 player that I bought years ago. Somehow in my move I lost the software and cable needed to import new music into it. I need a new ipod I thought. So I risked being a brat and shot an email to my dad containing a link for an Apple "ipod Shuffle" which is a basic little MP3 player, similar to my old one. "Dad, will you buy me one of these. I think I need one. Of course I like pink," is the message I wrote in the email.
That's all it took.
He replied back "what is your address and I will have it shipped to your front door." Whoa!!! Wow!!!
Well, it was delivered to my front door in about a week. And guess what...he didn't just send me a "Shuffle". He upgraded to the "Nano". That's big ya'll! It's like ordering a tricycle and getting a 4 wheeler! It's like ordering fish sticks and being served Lobster (I've never tried lobster, by the way...). Or maybe it's like hoping to win the primary and being elected President. Now, I know that "bigger and more expensive" isn't always better, but in this case, it is better.
All I had to do was ask.
Thank you, Dad.
But here's what I figured out...again...
All God wants us to do is humble ourselves and ask.
He may not always provide a Nano when we ask for a Shuffle. He might not even provide a Shuffle when we ask for a Shuffle. He might provide a harmonica so that we can learn to make a different kind of music, the kind that He has been desiring to hear.
How many times do I fail to ask God because of my own pride, all the while He is holding the treasures he desires to provide but is only waiting for me to ask?
He just wants us to pray.
A scripture that comes to my mind...
What man is there of you, whom if his son ask for bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask for a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? Matthew 7:8-11
I really like my new nano. I'm glad I asked...